ReAL Docs Confidently Advance to Semifinals

ReAL 2, Team Randal 1

By FARRANT SAKAGUCHI, AP Sports Writer
November 2, 2005

ReAL approached Wednesday's game with great apprehension. Things weren't coming together-- the first midweek game was early, at 4. Then the bad news started coming in-- Bukhosi would not be able to play, due to his strained MCL. (His doctors have signed him up as one of the first candidates for an experimental high-performance bionic leg. Ignoring Dube's advice that he should just get a cortisol shot for his chronic hip pain, Yaw "The Flash" informed the Docs that he had already entered retirement and that the last game was his last. As if the absence of two key players was not enough, a third teammate reported that she would not be attending: Shadi "#1 Fan" was called to represent at DPR. DPR representation resulted in the absences of Angela McKiller and Jody the Quick.

The Docs fielded hopefully with Evan Kul (called up from sick leave) in the goal and Teanu the Tiger at the other end. Wikki was expected to hold the middle steady while Westone was to sweep in the back. Bukhosi's spirit urged the team to "Play with HEART." ReAL quickly gained possession and effectively worked the ball back and forth between midfielders and forwards. Several attempts were required before a ball from the backfield found Teanu streaking towards the goal. After beating his man, Teanu finished, gently putting the ball in the far side. The opposition did not give up. Instead, during a moment of inattention, they found a shot from within the goal box. Kul touched the ball but was unable to keep it out of the goal. However, the Docs were not finished striking. Another ball sent towards the right corner found Teanu alone (silly, pitiful defence) followed by an inevitable goal. Chris "the Dish" debuted her midfield game on the right, reporting after the game, "running midfield sucks!" The score remained 2:1 at the half.

Returning to the field, ReAL was warned that Teanu would only be available for half of the remaining game time, due to traveling considerations (the bus). ReAL played a patient game, with several near goals. At one point, the shorter of the Asian guys on the team was working towards the endline, kicking the ball to the far post. However, the refs (not understanding the rules of soccer) called the ball out before the shot was made. Though unfortunate, similar bad calls "prevented" a later goal against the Docs. Amy "Hata" Lim was seen on the right side dancing with the ball as if it were glued to her feet. However, in an effort not to cause the other team to totally lose face, Amy did not convert, yet played her best game of the season. Sarah Moore replaced "The Dish" as right midfielder showing off incredible defense whenever the opposition moved her on her side of the field. [At this point, the writer concedes that he is tired.] Matt the Nerd made several key clears from the deep right, while Kof worked both offensively and defensively at the left half, trying to impress his wife. In the final minutes, Rivas made several key slides. The first required him to recover from an offensive attempt to run half the field in order to stop a counter attack with his slide tackle. Yet within moments, the enemy pushed deeper and Rivas revealed his Krypton heritage as he substituted a more common slide for a superman dive. He later reported "That may have been the fastest I have ever run (fly) in my life."

The near goals and the set plays will need to be capitalized on in order to beat better teams, but overall, the MS2's looked terrific. They played with greater consistency, teamwork, and poise than in any previous match. They worked the ball from side to side, using Wikki in the middle extensively. Everyone ran towards the ball, hungry for it if it was anywhere near them. Everyone played a very physical game with poise and cool heads.

The last opportunity to observe the ReAL Docs this season will be this Friday in a double header. The first game is scheduled for 3 pm on the West field where they will face the MS1's known as Mal Practice. Following that expected victory, the final will be played at 4 pm on the same field, most likely against the law school. Expecting intense, physical, fast games, any players who have played even one game during the regular season, are desperately invited to come. As no brawls are expected, this should be a family-friendly event for those with significant others and young children.

ps: Regarding any complaints as the lameness of this story, this article has confirmed to the author that he should get a day job or at a minimum, forget journalism and comedy as career paths.

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