URS5's deliver motor block to the S5-dermatome Lawdogs from the University of Utah
URS5 Dermatomes 12, Lawdogs 5
By HAL BOCK, AP Sports writer
October 13, 2005
East Bench, Utah (AP) - Franz Medina Monroy bounced through the URS5 clubhouse and headed for manager/pitcher Mori Samuel Speakman. The boss was already drenched with champagne.
"I told you so!" Monroy shouted. "I told you so!"
Speakman didn't need any reminding.
The last player added to the softball roster, Monroy got some of the biggest outs for the Dermatomes on Thursday when he raced down fly balls in left field to help the URS5 Dermatomes beat the Lawdogs 12-5 and knock their arch rival down a peg or two in the overall standings and in the human pecking order.
"Words can't describe the job that Monroy did," Speakman said. "The troops lobbied hard for him and they had some convincing to do. But I'm the guy who signed him -- and go back to your notes and take a look at the reason why."
Monroy, who made the roster instead of talented rookie Aubrey Chi Ho Chan, is hitting .412 for the softball season. With Chan looking on from the stands, Monroy helped URS5 defeat the effervescent but ultimately lame Lawdogs to avenge last season’s painful loss.
The Med School/Law School rivalry goes all the way back to 1972 when Michael J. Wilkens plunked a young and hairless Larry Wanless Reimer on a pitch. Citing emotional distress caused by PTSD, Wilkens took Reimer to court and won a landmark ruling which allows law students to hit whiney med students with softballs. Wilkens, now a Utah State Supreme Court Associate Chief Justice, said in a telephone interview, “Wilkens v Reimer really helped my career, and, if I remember correctly, Reimer was making goo-goo eyes with someone on the sidelines.”
In 2003, sweeping allegations were made that the Lawdogs took payoffs from gamblers to throw the softball game against the med students. “Morals are not their strong suit,” said Professor Stephen Thor Voron - Radiologist and budding romance novelist, “Then again, ethics are not really stressed by the S.J. Quinney College of Law admissions committee.”
In 2004, during another epic battle, a fight broke out between URS5 second baseman Jarom Elden Hanson and Law School debutante Silvia Trixy Laird.
Laird thought Hanson intentionally tried to get hit by a pitch with the bases loaded and two outs in the second inning of the Lawdogs 11-10 victory, and said something to Hanson when he came up again in the fifth. hanson approached Laird after the inning. Moments later, the two were in a tussle that spilled over to the warning track between home plate and the first base dugout. Soon every player from each team was involved, with players pushing, jabbing, and Jody Lynne Quick was seen trying to give an IV to an un-identified law student, until order was restored approximately four minutes later.
"She kind of saw that I was making eye contact at her - I was single back then, uh, when we played them last year - and I expected a different response and a more cordial conversation than I got," Hanson said. "It was a misunderstanding that probably got a little out of control. By the way, I'm happily married now."
Which brings us to 2005’s Thursday afternoon matchup. The battle quickly turned into a romp as the Dermatomes pulled away in the 3rd innning by hitting the ball were the Lawdogs weren’t. “I keeps telling ‘em,” Co-Manager Joseph Mylan Mortensen explained in his winsome Layton accent, “swinging the bat is one things, placing the ball where you want, that’s somethings else.”
"We're not done. I don't think we're satisfied," said shortstop Troy Jones Badger, who hit the game-clinching homer in the third and knocked down right fielder Yaw Amaning Adjei-Poku in the fourth to catch a fly ball. "I think we match up well in this league with anybody, I just hope they don’t have any more debutantes - Jarom can’t handle that. I think that’s why he didn’t show today."
Game Notes:
In a duel of the venerable and timeworn, Speakman (2-1) outdueled Law Proffessor and octogenarian William Jewel Lockhart to get the win. “When I was in college we played in bare feet,” said Lockhart before falling and breaking his hip .... Katrina Lister showed flashes of brilliance and proved to the naysayers why she was chosen over Bukhosi Boniface Dube to be the team’s catcher .... Wyatt Harlan Rivas showed better wheels than hands in the outfield and looks to be the next Willie McGee of the Dermatomes. Too bad there is no base-stealing in softball .... The Bus revved up his engine and snagged a few line drives over at first base before being yanked by hobbled Manager/1st Baseman Mortensen. Asked if replacing Bettis with his feebled self was a wise decision, Mortensen said, “Listen, I don’t come here to sit around and clap, I come to play baby.” .... Asked about his embarrassing and momentum-killing strikeout in the fourth inning, Troy Wesley Finlayson replied, “That is neither here nor there, I made my share of good plays.” Manager Mortensen’s response? “He’s in my doghouse. The last player in my doghouse was Matthew Hudson Kime - when was the last time you saw him?”
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